October 22, 2012

[Reflections] A Moment of Madness

(A person whom I've known from my childhood and whom I have admired since, ended her life recently. I wish I could have said these to her, when she lived)

Have you stood there, on the edge of a very deep cliff, real or imaginary, thinking "This is it", "There is no point in going on" and "I just want to end it right now and here"?

If you have never ever, consider that you've lived a very fortunate life and applaud yourself for your amazing attitude.

For the rest of you, if you have wanted to end it all, at some point or other, for some thing or the other, as I have, applaud yourself louder for being there, facing it in the eye and walking away unscathed. Not many have flown free through these fierce jaws of death.

This is in mourning and memory of all those desperate souls, who have taken to end this life, with the music still in them. I fervently wish I could have whispered these words as they took the fatal step. It is also to you and to many through you. Tomorrow you may stand in that position and I hope you will hear these words, loud and clear and throw away that thing that stands between you and life.

In the first place, why are you standing here and now, with these thoughts...

Is it because of a failed exam - What if, in a few hours, days, weeks or months, it wouldn't matter whether you passed or failed that exam but only whether you decided to live or not.

Is it because of debts insurmountable? Can I show you a future where you can be the owner of riches unimagined? Just if you just invest the energy you are putting into dying into living.

Is it because of a love unreturned? What if there was love and happiness more than you thought possible, waiting around the corner? Why, even from the same person who refused you?

Is it because of a death unconquerable? What if I could show that the one you loved so much wants you to live the life, as you would have with him or her? What if truly loving them means living with their memory?

Is it because of a vague feeling that pulls you down to somewhere deeper than the deepest pit on earth and burns and ravages your mind until you feel there is nothing but dust up there and you want this body to meet the same fate? What if I told you there are medicines and there are people you can talk to, that will wipe away these thoughts, as if it were a thing of the past?

Believe me, no matter how humongous your reason may seem, it is just as silly in the end, if it makes you end it all.

Are the voices in your head whispering...

"You are a waste of space. Of no use to anyone","You just hurt everyone around you. They will rejoice and be relieved that you're gone","No one loves you. Every one has rejected you."......

The one that needs to die today is not you, but that voice in your head. Don't kill yourself. Kill it.

Do you think your death is an answer to everything...

If you could see the thousands gathering at your doorstep crying, wishing that they had called you, that they had come to see you, at the moment you chose this fate... some stranger you smiled at, some friend you hugged ages ago, some relative whose life you changed. If only.

If you could see the guilt, the shame, the pain of your family, in a million multiples of whatever you may be feeling now. If you could see the tears of your children, born or yet to be born, if you could see the agony of the loved one, you love or are yet to love. If only.

If you could see the magic still in you. If you could see the empires you can build, the books you can pen, the lives you can touch. If only.

Walk out of the black prison of your mind to blue skies... to a beautiful, meaningful happiness you never thought possible.