December 21, 2015

[Reflections] A sack on your back!

Ever get the feeling you are stooping low even when there’s nothing on your back? Ever feel as if something is pulling you down and you can’t see what? Look deeply and you will find an imaginary sack on your mind’s back. The sack started piling stuff in, a long while ago, even before you knew it. Perhaps, when as a baby you were howling with pain and somehow there was no one to pick you up and comfort. Perhaps, when as a child, you had built that amazing sand castle and the people with you were too engrossed in their conversations to notice; Perhaps, as a teenager, when you were ignored or worse, insulted by a group to which you wanted to belong; Perhaps, in all those little and big blows in your relationships; All the dents and bumps you’ve ever received from life. And so, the sack has been filling up by itself. Like that unassuming frog, sitting in water turning hot, the piling weight does not come to our attention at individual moments. Collectively, it starts to wear us down in our work, in our personal lives, in our relationships and in our yearning to do more and be more. 

What then should one do with this pile? It seems like there is no way out of filling it and no way out of being pulled down by its weight? The mind’s hand automatically reaches out to those damaging stones that come labeled as regret, negativity, rejection, failure, loss and on and on. Why does it do it? Perhaps it thinks, ‘This is no stone! It’s a memory and it could be something precious!’ Perhaps, it says to itself, ‘I may not understand it now but if I hold on to it, in time, I’ll mine the diamond out of it!’ And so, the sack bulges!

How can we rise above this burden and stand tall? Can we ever walk upright? Is there a way we can refuse to accept these rocks given to us by life? Can we learn to say, ‘No, thank you! This is of no use to me now or ever’? But if we do that, won’t we miss the lessons of life? Or, do you think we can examine our sacks, sort and throw away all the useless stuff of the past lurking in there? Do we have the time, the patience and the strength to do that?

It doesn’t seem right to throw away every one of those stones for there may indeed be diamonds in them, hidden somewhere. It would be a tragedy to have a ‘spotless mind’, wouldn’t it? Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet would vouch for this. So, we can’t simply dump our sack into the river of amnesia. And in other times, it’s too painful to even look and sort out the dry deserts and fertile forests amongst these. Peering closer, there seems to be another path on this valley of possibilities. Why not become modern alchemists, not to make gold of the sand in the world, but to make feathers of these stones in our sack? Why can’t we all learn the art of making art with our pain? Yes, it may seem beyond us. But stirring that pot of gooey goodness in us and pouring plenty of positivity, we can surely create this magic potion and in no time, our stones will become feathers!

Then just wait and watch the weightlessness of your sack lift your spirit and life. See it make you fly high, far beyond your ‘Can I?'

December 20, 2015

[Movies] Star Wars - (6) Return of the Jedi 1983

The Return of the Jedi found me exhausted with this series. In spite of the initial excitement of watching this cultural phenomenon of a movie, I found it hard to continue sticking to my initial plan of watching all six. So, this will be my last on this series unless ‘awakened’ by the upcoming sequel of Star Wars.

Creatures and their characterization in Jabba’s island tested my patience. There were some that seemed straight out of a Dr. Seuss book, only painted in evil tones. A significant point of interest in this episode was in finding out that Darth Vader was indeed Luke Skywalker’s father and not just a ploy employed to trick Luke into turning over to the dark side. This led me to ask myself why I couldn’t see it. Anakin Skywalker was portrayed as such a great and good man that it was unthinkable for me to consider him to be this dark and destructive Darth Vader. The confirmation of this fact and the revelation of who the other 'hope' is, were the only intriguing moments in the film. Luke and Leia! Brother and sister, they turn out to be! This unraveling story of sorts becomes a circus of too many things flying all over the place.

The way Luke senses Vader’s presence and vice versa strongly reminded me of the same connection between Voldemort and Harry Potter. The faith and patience of Luke makes his father repent and turn over to the good side in the end. This stands as illustration to the religious core on which the philosophy of this series seems to stand.

There was a light moment when Yoda tells Luke, seeing him look at him curiously, in his characteristic style, ‘When 900 years old you reach, look as good, you will not!’ If not 900 years older, at least a little older Leia, Solo and maybe Skywalker, we shall get to see in the sequel and see for ourselves, if there isn't some truth in Yoda’s words.

After being done with this, decided just reading the plot of the prequel trilogy would do. There was one point that disturbed the flow. In the summaries of the prequel trilogy, I read that Leia and Luke’s mother dies giving birth to them. But Leia tells Luke that she remembers her mother. ‘She was beautiful, kind but sad’, she says. This jarred as a contradiction between the two trilogies! Other than this food for thought, the rest of it was about a lot of Jedi action and the story of good Anakin Skywalker becoming the evil Darth Vader. 

On the whole, the characters in the series didn’t have much depth. Perhaps, when trying to bring in all this technology that did not exist and conjure up things about space and creatures, there wasn’t time for depth. On this tangent, the protagonists of Arthur.C.Clarke’s Rama Series come to mind in recollecting the shades they had, as space travellers and how even that was in flux throughout the series. From another angle, one should admire the patience and strategy of the director to wait for more than two decades for the technology to progress to the level he wanted on the animation front, before making the prequels. This is a movie series for the tech-buffs and the animation nerds, while the rest of us are left with an empty feeling of wanting more.

Still, what is interesting about what lies ahead is that here comes a sequel after 32 years. Makes one reflect whether a movie too grows like a human being in one’s imagination. How much have we changed from what we were in 1983 to now? As a grown person, we probably ‘know’ more but do we really understand more? Isn’t it completely possible that childhood was the true period of understanding, when all this learning hadn’t corrupted our thinking? Perhaps, these parallels apply to the movie series too. That remains to be seen!

December 19, 2015

[Movies] Star Wars - (5) The Empire Strikes Back 1980

The Empire Strikes Back starts on an icy remote planet. The rebels are being hunted by the dark forces and forced to evacuate their base. The tensions in the relationship between Han and Leia play out, with Han declaring that Leia is in love with him and Leia refusing that, insisting that the allies need him not just her. Luke Skywalker is getting a lot confident in using the 'Force' and he is able to escape the grip of an abominable snowman kind-of-creature.

The attacking ‘Imperial Walkers’, bug like metallic robots with long legs and an impenetrable armor reminded me of the chunky robotic things in the transformer movies and the machines invading Pandora in the Avatar movie. It made me conclude that the Star Wars series is indeed the mother of all the hi-fi sci-fi movies of today. In three years, the designs and detailing have gotten much better. Perhaps, the success of the first one helped. Emotionally, the characters don’t seem to have evolved much. In a scene, just to prove to Han that she’s not in love with him, she kisses Luke Skywalker, who turns to look at Han, as if he’s beat him and won a trophy! While, from the relationship angle, the characters seem to still be in the adolescent stage, things have matured a lot in the philosophical front, for here is Yoda!

As the voice of Ben sows the seed for Luke’s journey towards becoming a Jedi warrior, we first hear of the legendary Yoda in the Star Wars Series! No other character seen so far comes close to the interestingness of Yoda.  In some ways, Yoda reminded me of Oogway, the tortoise Grand Master in Kung Fu Panda. Whether it was the way they both hold their eyes half closed a lot or the intuitive, wise and a little crazy approach of the two, I couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but I see a clear shade of similarity. 

Live from Yoda, we get to hear all the lines that pervade popular culture. These are my personal favorites.

’Do... or do not. There is no try.’

(The king of motivating punch lines. The kind of words that seem to zing with action)

Luke: I don't believe it.
Yoda: That is why you fail.
(The essence of what he must learn, captured tersely. In believing lies winning)

Luke: Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
(A perfect psychological portrait of all darkness, be it anger, hatred, doubt) 

Yoda: [points to a cave opening beneath a large tree] That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
Luke: What's in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you.
(Could all the evil we perceive, be whatever we take with us? )

Entering this very cave, Luke finds Darth Vader within and defeats him, only to find that his own face in the black mask of the slain Vader. Perhaps, this cave is the place where one finds what one fears the most. Perhaps, it’s the philosophical inverse of Harry Potter’s Mirror of Erised where one sees what one desires the most. 

As predicted through out, Darth Vader tries to win over Luke to the side of the Dark Emperor. His motive and the methods are reminiscent of Lucifer tempting Jesus. Interesting is the way Vader tries to confuse Luke Skywalker saying that he is Luke's father and we are led to believe that Luke believes this, as he keeps murmuring ‘Why didn’t Ben say?’

There are plenty of puzzles in this one. As Ben declares to Yoda that Luke’s their last hope and Yoda replies, ‘No. There’s another!’ Much to look forward to, in the final of the initial Trilogy!



Yoda Quotes: Courtesy - IMDB.

December 18, 2015

[Movies] Star Wars - (4) A New Hope 1977

I have been meaning to see the Star Wars series for sometime now, having first heard of it a from a geeky friend in college. I remember that he rolled his eyes when I said ‘Nope. I haven’t watched Star Wars’, as if I had no right to call myself a movie buff. Besides, I read about the Indian Prime minister’s address at Central Park, New York where he seems to have told Hugh Jackman, ‘May the Force be with you!’ amidst rousing cheers. Does one need any other reason? Then again, the order of release in the movie series was an intriguing 4-5-6-1-2-3. This going back and forth over more than three decades on a single plot caught my fancy because that would have so much to inform us about not just the changes in technology and knowledge of space travel but even the cultural perceptions and life attitudes reflected therein. Most importantly, there’s the Star Wars Episode 7 about to release in 7 days. It seemed like the ‘Force’ was indeed pushing me to finally watch it.

I was advised to not begin from the beginning but begin from how it began! So, I started with the 1977 movie, which was the 4th episode. The fact that I wasn’t even born then made it extra interesting to me, as a viewer. Still, it took quite a bit of effort to stop myself from giggling at the representation of robots, the expressions of those actors interfacing with advanced technology, and the so-called hi-tech computer effects, which to a person of this decade, looks like pretty primitive video games. I’m sure, in another thirty years, they’ll be roaring with laughter about what we consider impeccable sci-fi movies of today. Anyway, I had to keep bringing myself back to sobriety by reminding myself that how one sees the future is, for the most part, an extension of the present. That the future could be something phenomenally different from today is not an idea we seem to entertain often.

As the movie started, the first ‘thing’ that caught my attention was C-3PO, a feeling robot, who was fearing its doom almost poetically. An over-talkative, over-smart human-cyborg relations droid, portrayed in a shiny gold exterior and going out of its way to show that it’s a robot, courtesy those colorful wires that seem to peek out of its torso. Its companion is R2, the super-intelligent robot that could hack into any system and do just about any technical operation. Of course, we don’t understand a word it says. That’s why we need C-3PO! In a way, these two are modeled like a genius, eccentric man and his talkative, emotional wife. 

Princess Leia, whom we meet soon after, glowing in white, seems a delicate person with lofty ambitions to save the whole universe from the evil forces. Even the way she fires a gun is as if she’s shocked about it. At times, it feels like Princess Leia is playing a part in a romantic-comedy movie. Case in point, she kisses Luke Skywalker clumsily when they are about to make a leap across a ledge on the enemy starship and says ‘It’s for luck!’

Luke Skywalker is a boy brought up by his relatives, after the death of his father, but in him, there is a sense of destiny beyond his immediate dry world. He tries to be dutiful to the uncle and aunt who have raised him even though he is frustrated to be doing meaningless chores in the name of duty. There was a scene where the uncle, aunt and Luke are at the dining table having their breakfast of a white liquid and some powdery stuff, the planet’s version of milk and chocolate cereal, no doubt! Luke is having a meltdown about being held back from the academy to help his uncle. The aunt stays perfectly quiet as Luke argues with his uncle, observing him intently, not trying to get a word in. Only after Luke leaves in a dejected albeit accepting manner, does she talk to her husband, arguing for Luke’s sake. Again, her husband listens to her advice but shows he’s the one in control by ending the discussion having his way and the last word. Perhaps, a reflection of man-woman roles as it was in 1977, rather than in the future, in a faraway galaxy.

In a reflection of what we know not, being an extension of what we know, the extra-Terrestrial creatures on this far-off planet have for the most part, human torsos and deformed or distorted heads of animals we have seen and read about. In this alien world too, we find a pub and there are all these creatures drinking and behaving as if they are in Madison Avenue on Planet Earth instead of Mos Eisley on Planet Tatooine. No surprise in finding a swashbuckling Han Solo here. Interesting to get into the skin of this pragmatic but good-hearted character played by the charismatic Harrison Ford. His very hairy first mate is a bear kind of figure who goes by the name ‘Chewie’. Although a ragged looking creature, Chewie cares about how he smells and expresses extreme reluctance to jump into the garbage chute even when it’s a matter of life and death! Even if these characters are clashing laser swords or are surrounded by enemy bots amidst laser gun shots, they are seen reeling off wisecracks at one other. An ‘Aha’ moment was when Han Solo looks at a moneylender, don kind of figure, to whom he owes money and who happens to be a greedy talking lizard and says ‘You are a great human being, Jabba!’  Who really is a human, it makes you think!

What I learnt about the ‘Force’ from this movie is that it is that which connects and moves all living beings. The Jedi warriors are trained in employing the force in their warfare, which is referred to as a religion. The Force is felt when there is a disturbance to life forms. ‘It controls you but obeys you too’, Obi Wan says. It made me reflect on other things in this same combination. ‘Instinct’ would fit the bill too. Heard phrases popularly used like ‘The force is strong with this one’, as Darth Vader remarks of Luke Skywalker in what I heard as a grudging but complimenting tone. Speaking of the devil, isn’t the idea of Darth Vader turning evil after training under a Jedi master like Obi-Wan, much reminiscent of Angel Lucifer’s fall from Heaven? 

At the end of the first movie, I think Star wars is legendary because it combines religion, politics, technology and serves a heady cocktail to a dreaming nation, waking up to the possibilities of the future. 

In the end, the evil forces are destroyed and our hero brings home the ship and saves the rebelling warriors on the good side. All’s well that’s end’s well, American style, but there’s more, as the Empire will want to Strike back. Unlike the first viewers, I don’t have to wait three years for that!

December 17, 2015

[Reflections] A life of learning!


Imagine you were a student living thousands of years ago. How would you further your knowledge? You would seek out a Guru, eat with him, travel with him, wash his clothes and clean his home and in return for your services, he would condescend to share his knowledge with you. This knowledge was sealed tight in the cryptogram of classical languages, far from the reach of the common man. Talking of linguistic cryptograms, remember the Q.E.D we used to write at the end of our geometry theorems! I doubt if we had any idea about what this meant then but we plugged it in anyway. Later, if we had the inclination to investigate such childhood oddities, we came to know that it stood for ‘quod erat demonstrandum’, which was a fancy way of saying, ‘Remember, this is the thing we were going to prove!’ As if we were sitting in ancient Rome and studying under a Latin philosopher! Coming back home to our own learning scene, sometimes, as in the case of Ekalavya, a Guru could easily refuse a student, no matter how sincere he was. There are many Ekalavyas today too. If not for any isolatable reason, just for the omnipresent one called numbers. Consider how many young and old people aspiring to learn, live in our country. Consider how many centres of learning - universities and colleges, there are. So, no wonder, the overburdened lords and ladies of our seats of learning choose to find ways to say more no’s than yeses. Many a student has been turned away from their doors, although a passion burnt inside to learn. These heartbroken souls must first mourn their losses, but should soon realize that the centres of learning are now right in front of them - in the form of their laptops and smartphones. Walk up to Coursera, EdX, Udemy, and you are sure to find worlds opening up. Whatever it is you want to learn, be it the recipe of an apple pie or the significance of the mathematical pi, one needs to look no further. Personally, I have had a joyful experience on this path. The first course that I took was ‘Anthropology of Current World Issues’, offered on EdX by The University of Queensland, Australia. It was an elegant introduction to the study of human beings. All about the differences, the similarities, the paradoxes, the parallels of cultures around the world. Every week, the course would take me to a different part of the world and make me understand how the people of that land face a world issue they locally have, through the eyes of anthropologists who work with them. Through this course, I was introduced to the many approaches in anthropology through interviews with inspiring anthropologists across the world. The course had what is referred to as ‘opinion maps’ and on these maps of the world, you could see the views of students everywhere from Colombia to China. These online education portals do have a way of bringing the world as one. One learns not just a course but to learn about oneself and the world. Just like Ekalavya made a mud statue of the teacher who refused to teach him and went on to teach himself and become a master of that, you too can do the same with your metal university. There is no need for you to break down with tears when they find reasons not to open those ivory gates. When the world is in your hands, why yearn for walls?

December 16, 2015

[Experiences] Zen and the Art of Waste Management

Last afternoon, when I was going to pick Haiku from school, Adyar Signal was doing her thing, stopping men in their tracks. An expensive black SUV was in line ahead, waiting for her to change her mind. Just then, one of its rear power windows slid down stylishly and then, an empty plastic cup descended on the road. Sirens started going off in my head. I didn’t know how long I had at the signal. But decided to brave it and bear a few honks if I had to. Pushed the gear to neutral, pulled up the handbrake, clicked my seatbelt open, snatched my car keys out, slammed the door and strode ahead. Picking up the abandoned cup, I walked up to that expensive SUV and peeped into its posh interiors. A little boy in a uniform sat there, looking so like my own son. I held the cup in one hand and waved a ‘No-no!’ with my other hand. Then, dashed back to my car. I know not if this crazy aunty on the road made any difference to him. But, it was worth a try!

As my car moved into first gear, my mind went reverse, mining for moments like this one. Popped a short scene from years ago. My big Haiku was then, just in pre-school! One day, when walking towards his school, saw a paper cup fly out of an open car window. I bent down, picked it up, looked at the driver in the car and asked with a smile, ‘Why don’t you drop it in the dustbin?’ He got the cup from my hands and smiling sheepishly said ‘Sorry, madam. I will!’

Another morning, when the sun had just got up and was scuffling around in search of the newspaper, I was taking a walk and I saw two ladies seated on the pavement outside an apartment having coffee. One of them done slurping the last drop nonchalantly threw her cup on the ground, totally engrossed in the animated talk of her companion. I walked up to her and asked her, ‘Why don’t you drop it in the dustbin?’ She replied that the corporation cleaning lady would clean it up.  ‘Still…?’ I asked with a smile. She smiled too and I left.

Heartened by these harmless little incidents, I was getting rather complacent about my approach. One evening, when I was taking Haiku to his Karate class, I saw a middle-aged man walk out of a shop. Having finished his packet of chips, he threw the plastic cover right where he was standing. Walking up to him and pointing to a dustbin close by, I asked him that question you must know by heart by now - ‘Why don’t you drop it into the dustbin?’ That was it! As though I had said a dirty thing, that man started yelling. The voice level set to an embarrassing red, he first admonished me asking what right I had to ask that question to him and then advised me to go and clean my home. In an interesting turn, he then shouted, ‘Did you pay your dowry?’ Even now, no matter how much I flex my logical muscles, for the life of me, I can’t understand what that’s got to do with anything! Anyway, he started exhibiting his superior skills in hurling English words for verbally abusing a woman. When Haiku looked up and asked me, ’Why is he shouting at you, Amma?’, I decided it was time to move away before my son got into the ‘What is he shouting…?’ part!

Why all this fuss over a piece of paper or a plastic cover on the road, you may ask. Isn’t there garbage flying everywhere around? Even around that very dustbin that I ask these people to drop the trash. You would make an excellent point even if you went a step further and said, ’What difference does it make even if you are going to hurl it into a dustbin? It’s going to a dump yard and be on the ground elsewhere!’

‘Still…’, a voice inside whispers in response, ‘isn’t not littering the very least you can do for mother earth?’ First, we’ll hope for the hand that takes the trash to the place it belongs, then the mind to think about recycling and then eventually, the heart to care for all of earth as each one’s own home, as it truly is.

But as long as such screaming strangers continue to live in our home, my motto is only going to be: ‘You drop, I pick up, No talk’!

December 15, 2015

[Random] In a noisy world...

Silence… 
Of a room in Den Haag
Of a soul within
Of a far-away souvenir
Of a long-ago gift
Of an unborn child
Of a dead parent
Of an unanswerable question
Of an irrefutable answer
Of depression
Of euphoria
Of the yet-to-speak toddler
Of the about-to-die elder
Of a fighting couple
Of an estranged friend
Of a reunion, prior
Of a farewell, after
Of an attentive listener
Of a perpetual talker
Of unexpressed love
Of concealed apathy
Of a monastery
Of a library
Of a fallen tree
Of a sprouting seed
Of a crowded theatre
Of a deserted graveyard
Of spectators of a crime
Of photographers of a disaster
Of the moment before an applause
Of the moment after a rebuke
Of leaders who should condemn
Of followers who should complain
Of the sinner
Of the forgiver
Of the speechless speaker
Of the speechless signer
Of a loving look
Of an angry stare
Of the black night
Of the white moon
Of a thinking mind
Of a feeling heart
Of the breeze
Of the earth
Of hands that do
Of eyes that see
Of the universe
Of an atom
Of a tear
Of a smile

Silence…
That speaks a thousand words!